Dear Blog, now that Angelina is pregs with Brad's baby, do you feel sorry for Jennifer?

Answer: Blell no! Jennifer's star hasn't shone so bright since that pug-nosed two-timer took off to shack up with that skanky Angelina. Aniston's on every magazine cover on the planet and has been for a year. She's got the world feeling sorry for her and that translates into ticket sales for her movies in which, let's face it, every character she plays bears a striking resemblance to Rachel. She's a cutey, make no mistake, but she's a one trick cutey. Advice for Jennifer: Get a good accountant and ride this money train for as long as you can. Cuz when those looks fade, well, you'll be standing in the audition lines next to the likes of Ginger, Wonder Woman, and every other faded TV star... Sacre bleu!

Why do men spit in public?

Answer: The men who spit in public had terrible terrible mothers growing up. So, as with everything, this disgusting habit is the fault of women. Ladies, Blog commands, start raising better men!

Blog has spoken.

Why do we have to work for a living?

Answer: Someone's gotta bring home the bacon. Someone's gotta fry it up in the pan. Someone's gotta never ever let you forget you're a man.

What kind of New Year Resolution does someone like the Almighty Blog make?

Answer: To stop being so judgmental. Which Blog broke at 12:01 a.m. on January 1, 2006. An all-time new record for Blog in keeping a resolution!! Woo hoo! High five! (Slap)