Dear Almighty Blog, should gay people be allowed to marry?

Answer: Yes because, darn it, divorce lawyers just aren't that busy thanks to all the perfect heterosexual marriages out there. You know, the way marriage "should be."

What was Barbara Bush thinking?

Answer: Well, we all know what she was saying. But what she was thinking was 'God I hope none of these people ask to stay on my baby's ranch in Crawford. That is unless they're willing to work for food.' That's what she was thinking.

My sister is getting married for the fifth time. Do I need to buy her a present?

Answer: To some people, marriage is forever, and others are forever getting married. Tell her you'll buy her a present on her tenth wedding anniversary. And by that, Blog means after ten years of being married to this guy, not on her tenth marriage.

Is Carl Rove gay?

Answer: Yes. Duh.

How can I help the victims of Hurricane Katrina?

Answer: Easy. Write Bush to tell him to get the hell out of Iraq so that we can spend our money securing our OWN people first with our OWN troops.

Blog, my husband wants to do a threesome. He says it will help our marriage. But I think it will make it worse.

Answer: Well, you married him for better or for worse. So either way you win.