My girlfriend of 8 years and I have three kids. We live together. She wants to get married. But I'm just not ready. How can I get her to back off?

Answer: Eight years. Three kids. Living together. What the f#ck do you need to be "ready"?!?! You, my dear, are a moron. But your girlfriend is an even bigger moron. I pity your children who have inherited not only the genes from one moron, but two. You're not going through life half-ass, you're going through it full-ass. Marry that woman and make those kids proud to have a father who can do the right thing, or can you?