My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time last night. But I TOTALLY forgot that I have herpes and didn't tell him. What should I do?

Answer: Okay, let's just get this straight: You forgot you have herpes? You....forgot? You can forget where you put your keys. You can forget your mother's birthday. You can even forget where you parked your car. But you cannot forget you have herpes?! Just exactly what kind of an idiot are you?!?!

Okay, against Blog's better judgment, here's some advice: Don't tell your boyfriend anything. Instead, throw yourself in front of a bus. There will be a funeral and a reception where your boyfriend will get drunk and sleep with one of the waitresses. He'll think he got the herpes from her and you'll be in the clear. It's the only solution.